Ramblings of Sarge. I ain't dead yet.

Babysitting the granddaughter Saturday and Sunday, and getting the second massage of my life Saturday, made for a very relaxing weekend.  Once all the kinks were worked out of my shoulders and lower back, how could I help but relax while playing with the six month old beauty.

Lions tigers and bears. Oh my!

Now I don't want to have multiple sites just to copy the same thing onto all three, for I have actually established each one for a different purpose.  I have this VOX account for lighter stuff that I can come here and find interesting topics.  I have my Forumer page as a place for the more serious items on my mind and historical keepings.  The Yahoo Groups page is for family and friends to keep in touch with one another.  The Spark People page is for tracking and support concerning diet and exercise.

Today, however, this topic fits all of them.  It is important and something we should all consider.  Fueling these complicated bodies of ours is something that can be done properly or improperly.  I have noticed the contrast in my own body considering this week vs. last week.  Following is the post from parts of the other sites.

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Well, I forced myself through some of the financial stuff and made a car payment and sent enough to keep the electric and gas active. Still behind, but the wolves are pacing and not aggressive at the moment. The next step this payday is to get one of the house payments caught up. Watching the tornado damage in Hugo, Sue and I decided we'd rather have our problems than theirs. Sometimes the perspective can change when the realization hits that there is always someone suffering worse than we are.

Here is a copy of my post from my Spark People page this morning.

http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=SARGE49
The Difference In A Week And Breakfast
What a difference. This week I feel blah and lethargic as compared to weeks gone by. I can attribute a big part of that to the difference in exercise and nutrition. This week there are limited groceries on hand and like we've all done at times, I forage through the cupboards and see what is on hand and what may go well together. I'm not starving, but this style of piecemeal eating is poor when compared to the eating on purpose style of weeks gone by, or maybe eating for a purpose.

Starting the day with a good breakfast is more important to performance and production than most of us really understand. In the book Body By God, I learned about eating the proper foods at the proper times to burn the food efficiently and to have the energy when it is needed. I had been eating a higher carb breakfast, usually potatoes in a veggie saute or pasta. This resulted in feeling energetic through the morning, ready to go. Having not done that this week has really shown up.

Fruits, veggies and lean meats throughout the day would keep me going. it was a steady refueling. I need to regain this so I still have a little energy for the evening rather than getting home and just crashing. The result has been failure to do my rehab exercises at all this week. It's not that I've been inactive, I do have an active job. I work as a courier and am in motion most of the day. I played a round of golf Tuesday night and mowed the lawn Wednesday night. The lack of weights and cardio is simply due to a lack of energy at the end of the day combined with a tired mind that gives in to the desire to just plop down for the night.

So, the moral of the story is that diet does affect body, mind and spirit. Now that the gas and electric is on for awhile, I'll need to hit the grocery aisles to revitalize myself for next week.

On a side note, I've weighed in at a steady 206 all week, down 7 pounds in 7 weeks. This morning, however, my scale decided to deceive me. I stepped on and it showed 203.8. Initially one might be excited about that, but I know it is merely the result of what I've stated here already and is a false reading. If I were to load up on my normal diet today, I'd be right back to the normal range tomorrow. I'll finish out this week as best I can, and prepare for next week when the paycheck arrives. I don't really see this as a setback, but I do need to get back on track with the diet as well as the discipline.

Well, that's pretty much it. Just gotta keep working and chipping away. The last two days have been pretty good. If every day was as good as the last two, I could actually make a living at this job. Is business picking up or just teasing me? I guess we'll see over the next few weeks. Come the end of June, I'll have to make a decision on whether or not the big truck is a realistic option or what I am going to do. Thanks to all who are keeping us in your prayers.

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So there you have it.  I've noticed the difference.  Tracking what I've been doing (on the Spark People site) has made me conscious of what I've been doing.  I now try to make active decisions that are good for me rather than simply enduring whatever happens without understanding and thinking it is the lot that has been cast.  I haven't become anything special because of what I've been doing.  I have become more energetic and that carries over into every aspect of my life.  We all go our own way in ways that we choose.  I just thought this might be an encouragement to someone who knows that they need to make some change.  Hopefully this provides a little focus.

• I'll be getting my first massage ever today.  My daughter is graduating as a massage therapist in June, and my stress convinced me that maybe at age 49 I should finally give it a shot.  If she is as good as everyone says, I'll escape reality for 40-60 minutes and actually relax.
  
• No gout flare ups.  Thank you God!
  
• Spring weather has finally arrived.  It has with tornadoes last night.  Hugo, MN is a wreck.  The same cell had a touchdown earlier 1-1/2 miles straight down the road from my house in Coon Rapids, MN.
  
• Softball league.  I have been, in fact, relegated to bookkeeper this year as I was last.  Batting at a practice 8 days ago was painful all to quickly.  Not enough strength or power has returned to the left arm yet.
  
• Golf league is underway.  I played a practice round to see if I could swing without pain and found out I can if I'm smooth and shot a 53.  Round one of leagues was a sloppy 55.  Tomorrow night I'll find out if I won closest to the pin last week.  It was straight at the pin but came up about 8 feet short.  I then proceeded to choke the putt and parred the hole.  On the next tee I drove out of bounds TWICE.  Not so straight at the pin.
  
• Financials have been devastated and still are.  2 months behind on almost everything.  Change has got to happen.
  
• Family is healthy, for the most part, and still moving forward.  We'll see where this story takes it's next turn.

My wife and I have gone through a lot these past five months when I was out of work for about three months longer than planned after my shoulder surgery.  I have put together a section on my forum site that gives the facts of the matter as well as thanksgiving to both God and all the people who saw fit to help us and encourage us along the way.

I would also like to thank those who I have met here.  You don't know it, but the times I've needed to escape the reality of my troubles and pains for a bit, I found comfort here.  That's both working on my pages as well as visiting yours.  I found humor at the right times, some rants worth thinking about, some creative writing to enjoy, some pictures and tunes to evoke memories, and some just plain weird stuff.  So I welcome you to also visit the forum and get the juicy details if you would like to.

The segments of it are:

2008 Road To Recovery
Chronology Of Events
Today
Lessons
Blessings

It is a work in progress, but I have enough posts on there now that I think anyone can get the gist of what is going on.

No, not the movie, although I did find it to be very entertaining.  This big fish is an actual fish that was caught, not the one that got away.  My sister sent the pictures to me and I thought I would share them here where I will also be able to see them again and again.  I like wondering how I would have reacted had it been me who caught this monster.

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If the weight holds up, it would be a new world record pike at 56 lbs.
The old world record from Germany is 55 lbs. 1 oz. This pike was caught
on a river in Canada (this looks like the Detroit River near Boblo
Island ). At 56 lbs and 56 inches, the pike it's eating is 36 inches
long. It grabbed a 36 inch pike - look at the pictures- you'll be
amazed!! The 56 lb pike was never hooked, it would not let go of the
36 in pike.

ATT00003

ATT00002

ATT00001

• Today was the final visit to my surgeon who gave me permission to return to work.  I will need to be careful and selective for awhile, but now the rest of my life can begin recovery along with my shoulder.
• The gout has not hit full tilt.  The tenderness has existed for about one week now, but the full blown flare up has remained at bay.  Sunday was a bit worrisome as throbbing and joint stiffness was somewhat elevated.  Today, thankfully, is back to tenderness alone.  Prayers for my brother-in-law who had to visit the doctor last week due to an attack in both feet.  I have been spared the misery of both feet being simultaneously beleaguered.
• Spring weather has finally arrived.  I AM CONFIDENT!
• Softball league begins tonight.  Due to my shoulder and gout, I will be relegated to bookkeeper this year as I was last.  Or will I?
• Golf league begins with a meeting two weeks from tomorrow.  This will be a first for me.  That softball swing would probably screw my game up more than it already is anyhow.
• Financials have been devastated as the 6-8 weeks became 18 weeks out of work.  Now I have to figure out how to reacquire a truck and get back at it.
• Family is healthy, for the most part, and still moving forward.  We'll see where this story takes it's next turn.
  

This weekend past was one of noes.  No real responsibility.  No exercise.  No harsh time frames.  No real, lasting benefit to me personally.  No profitability.  No epiphany.  No deep spirituality.  No awe inspiring sights or sounds.

It all pretty much wrapped itself around a wedding for my wife's niece.  Though the intro could lead someone to think the weekend was a downer, it was actually a block of time, punctuated by moments of awareness, which required little of me and thus an effortless relaxation for the most part.  As with any phase of life, block of time, or event, there are pros and cons along the way.

Friday night was the groom's dinner which we were invited to at the Wisconsin farm of the groom's parents.  The ride was approximately 1-1/4 hours from our home to theirs, an easy drive through the countryside of Minnesota and Wisconsin.  It would have been a much prettier drive were it after the leaves exploded upon the branches, hence we settled for observing the lakes we passed and the St. Croix River we crossed over.  The river was open and dotted by small fishing boats and canoes while the lakes were shedding winter's grip, the final inch of ice that rested upon the surface.  The landscape being brownish is a bit dreary when cloudy skies are present and the forecast is for more of the same with temperatures dipping once again to the forties.

The large family of the groom with spouses and kids transformed this groom's dinner into a mini-reception when combined with the sizable wedding party.  There was ample opportunity to visit with people I didn't know, sharing the usual small talk in polite conversations.  I have never been to a farm where the food was not excellent and plentiful, this trip being no exception.  After dinner was complete and itineraries for days following were confirmed, we trekked back across the river and around the lakes to the comfort of home.

Saturday began slowly behind schedule and proceeded slower still.  A toilet issue prompted a note requesting that the last person to leave the house should turn off the valve to the toilet.  It was a minor issue, but not to be fixed while under the gun of the one schedule for the weekend.  I made the drive with a nervous spouse in one hour making our arrival only ten minutes late.  I opened my crossword book while she rushed into the church to start pinning flowers for the picture taking, knowing I was not alone the cause of the tardiness and knowing that I trimmed twenty percent of the travel time from the journey.  As my peripheral vision caught movement I would glance up at cars and bodies moving through the parking lot to the church entrances.  I smiled as I recognized some, whether by face or garment bag, to be members of the wedding party.  The final absolution of all guilt for my lack of punctuality was received as the photographer passed my car, assistant in tow, carrying cameras and tripods in a hurried fashion.  A missed turn had caused our slowness to be nothing in the big picture, so to speak.

The service, though seemingly hurried at points, was nice and rather simple.  From my third row seat I easily could view the beautiful bride, whether blushing or breathing deep, the father of the bride with the tear having worked from eye to cheek to jaw to neck, the singer with a nervous shrug after a song that started a bit too high, and the one plus year old flower girl now wearing the basket as a football helmet.  It was a lovely scene of family life and the cycles it passes through.  I remember being the groom up front, the father of the bride helplessly watching, the father of an antsy daughter.  I remember the feelings of the cash outflow, father of the nervous bride, husband of the more nervous mother and assurer that all would workout and be fine in the end.  But here, I was able to sit back and witness love in all of these snapshots which surrounded me, while holding the hand of my beautiful bride of twenty eight years.

Following the service, I led a small caravan to the motel in New Richmond which was across the street from the reception hall.  We checked in, unloaded cars, then headed back to the farm for a social hour while the wedding party finished up family photos and had their own little party on the way to the hall.   Later, at the reception hall, my youngest daughter arrived with her four month old daughter.  I was able to wrestle control of the newest family member, showing her off to others for a time.  The dinner at the reception was a nice buffet with enough variety and flavor to satisfy all who attended.  The toasts actually made sense for a change and were pleasant to the ear, leading into a video collage of the wedded couple which was well done also.  The rest of the night went as you might guess.  Catching up with relatives on the state of the families, gathering the younger children in one area to play and wear them down a bit, looking for exits and entrances from various conversations, culminating in hearing the more lubricated of the attendees open up about life's issues in ways quite unexpected.  The one low point of the evening for me was after multiple disappearances to the bar to watch my beloved Minnesota Wild, alas, they fell in defeat for the final time of the season to the Colorado Avalanche.  I returned to the arms of my wife to dance a slow dance and recount to her the highlights of the game as I had after each period of the game.  She consoled me and we moved on to bid adieu to family and acquaintances as the midnight hour became one o'clock ante meridiem.

Sunday morning included activities of a rather nice breakfast considering it was a motel lobby, loading cars and recounting with others the shape they were in and how they came to be in such a state.  Some of it was humorous, at least to me being that I was not in said condition.  My wife and I then headed back up to the farm for another feeding and the gift opening which lasted into the mid afternoon.  This day however was bright sunshine with more moderate temperatures which climbed from the mid forties in the morning to the mid seventies by day's end.  Upon arrival to the farm we were greeted by the groom's father and had a very pleasant conversation.  As we stood in the warming sun overlooking pastures of cows and sheep, we discussed his farming operation as well as the state and business of farming in general.  It was a light, educating discussion which I enjoyed with the friendly, easy going gentleman.  The type of conversation one would have with another person who knows there are things in life that are serious and matter and yet does not take himself too seriously.  A man easy to talk to, easier still to listen to, living in that balance of neither thinking higher nor lower of himself than he ought.

The festivities concluded and the time for departure had arrived.  It was a pleasant drive home with a feeling that spring had finally sprung and summer was ready to start moving in.  In the sunlight, buds were now visible on the trees and grasses were beginning to green up from the light showers of the past few days.  My daughter and her husband dropped by our house and joined us in a game, dinner and a movie.  When the kids went home, my wife and I retired for the evening, having witnessed first hand the cycle of life and the blessings that accompany us along the journey.

So it was a weekend of yeses.  Yes we were responsible in sharing in the lives of our families.  Yes, there was a little exercise, both physically and of the will.  There were a few time frames, though none harsh.  There was much real, lasting benefit to me personally in the love witnessed and shared.  While no monetary profitability was enjoyed, the profitability in these relationships will far outlast the time spent.  Yes, even epiphany.  Yes, my spirituality was confirmed in both the truth and deceptions I witnessed throughout the proceedings.  And there were awe inspiring sights and sounds from the simple tear of a father, to the bride's nervous energy released through breathing or giggles, her bashfulness and her innocence, to the sounds of the little children.  All I had to do was look and listen and experience the living out of joy.

2 Weeks!?

I have to start paying attention to the urge to blog.  So many times I have had said urge, only to put it off, set aside for sleep, to read another page or what have you.  It's been a period of time that has been long yet fast at the same time.  It was two weeks that were supposedly my last two weeks of down time after the shoulder surgery which seemed to drag but in which great progress was made regarding the necessary healing.  The time off has been of benefit to me in many ways; physically, mentally, spiritually but certainly not financially.  Tuesday I was telling people that I felt better than I had in three years.  Then came the tenderness in the ball of my foot, the left big toe, as if someone grabbed hold and said tauntingly, "Not so fast there, sonny boy."  Yes, it was an attack.  The precursor to a gout flareup, the one thing I dread at this point of my life.

At it's worst, it is unending pain filled with a variety of sensations.  If you've ever had a tiny sliver that just stung a bit, one that you couldn't extract, you would know the beginning of the irritation.  Now imagine 500 of them stuck in a joint in your foot, all of them poking you like a fiberglass sliver from insulation, inflaming the tissues around it so it swells up in a puffy redness with the irritation many times that of an eyelash in your eye that you just can't seem to locate for removal.  Add to that the pain of a thumb struck hard by a hammer or slammed in a door, but rather than a dissipating pain, a lingering one.  And the recurring sensations, one after another, a nail in the foot to the tearing off of the toe nail.  The sensation is there, but to look at the foot wood not support the feeling.  I could go on with the swelling of the foot, etc., but ...  If you haven't turned away already, I would surely drive you from here by continuing.

Benjamin Franklin wrote a humorous tale about gout as though it were an actual person paying a visit.  I am certain it relates better to those who have experienced the malady, but none the less, it can be read in it's language of 1780 or it can be enjoyed audibly if you are more inclined to sit back, close your eyes and enjoy the tale.
 

DialogueBetweenFranklinAndTheGout

So it's really been two weeks, eh?  Two weeks of rehab exercising, endless web surfing and far less productive activity than I care to admit.  I am in first place in my fantasy baseball league through week three though.  A noble accomplishment, wouldn't you agree?  Yeah, right!  It was all a part of that time/money cycle around which my life has spun.  Considering things I'd like to do, when I have the time - I don't have the money, or when I have the money - I don't have the time.  In an effort to not be totally self deceiving, I need to admit that a fair amount of procrastination was involved through which I prevented myself from accomplishing tasks I actually could have completed.  It hit home yesterday with a supersonic boom when I read a story posted about 17-year-old Brian Moore. (Scroll to the bottom to read the story).  It's called "A Teenager's View Of Heaven", and it talks about being held accountable for how we use our time.

Well, I'll post other items separately so this doesn't go on forever.

Happy Friday!
Sarge