1 post tagged “wedding”
This weekend past was one of noes. No real responsibility. No exercise. No harsh time frames. No real, lasting benefit to me personally. No profitability. No epiphany. No deep spirituality. No awe inspiring sights or sounds.
It all pretty much wrapped itself around a wedding for my wife's niece. Though the intro could lead someone to think the weekend was a downer, it was actually a block of time, punctuated by moments of awareness, which required little of me and thus an effortless relaxation for the most part. As with any phase of life, block of time, or event, there are pros and cons along the way.
Friday night was the groom's dinner which we were invited to at the Wisconsin farm of the groom's parents. The ride was approximately 1-1/4 hours from our home to theirs, an easy drive through the countryside of Minnesota and Wisconsin. It would have been a much prettier drive were it after the leaves exploded upon the branches, hence we settled for observing the lakes we passed and the St. Croix River we crossed over. The river was open and dotted by small fishing boats and canoes while the lakes were shedding winter's grip, the final inch of ice that rested upon the surface. The landscape being brownish is a bit dreary when cloudy skies are present and the forecast is for more of the same with temperatures dipping once again to the forties.
The large family of the groom with spouses and kids transformed this groom's dinner into a mini-reception when combined with the sizable wedding party. There was ample opportunity to visit with people I didn't know, sharing the usual small talk in polite conversations. I have never been to a farm where the food was not excellent and plentiful, this trip being no exception. After dinner was complete and itineraries for days following were confirmed, we trekked back across the river and around the lakes to the comfort of home.
Saturday began slowly behind schedule and proceeded slower still. A toilet issue prompted a note requesting that the last person to leave the house should turn off the valve to the toilet. It was a minor issue, but not to be fixed while under the gun of the one schedule for the weekend. I made the drive with a nervous spouse in one hour making our arrival only ten minutes late. I opened my crossword book while she rushed into the church to start pinning flowers for the picture taking, knowing I was not alone the cause of the tardiness and knowing that I trimmed twenty percent of the travel time from the journey. As my peripheral vision caught movement I would glance up at cars and bodies moving through the parking lot to the church entrances. I smiled as I recognized some, whether by face or garment bag, to be members of the wedding party. The final absolution of all guilt for my lack of punctuality was received as the photographer passed my car, assistant in tow, carrying cameras and tripods in a hurried fashion. A missed turn had caused our slowness to be nothing in the big picture, so to speak.
The service, though seemingly hurried at points, was nice and rather simple. From my third row seat I easily could view the beautiful bride, whether blushing or breathing deep, the father of the bride with the tear having worked from eye to cheek to jaw to neck, the singer with a nervous shrug after a song that started a bit too high, and the one plus year old flower girl now wearing the basket as a football helmet. It was a lovely scene of family life and the cycles it passes through. I remember being the groom up front, the father of the bride helplessly watching, the father of an antsy daughter. I remember the feelings of the cash outflow, father of the nervous bride, husband of the more nervous mother and assurer that all would workout and be fine in the end. But here, I was able to sit back and witness love in all of these snapshots which surrounded me, while holding the hand of my beautiful bride of twenty eight years.
Following the service, I led a small caravan to the motel in New Richmond which was across the street from the reception hall. We checked in, unloaded cars, then headed back to the farm for a social hour while the wedding party finished up family photos and had their own little party on the way to the hall. Later, at the reception hall, my youngest daughter arrived with her four month old daughter. I was able to wrestle control of the newest family member, showing her off to others for a time. The dinner at the reception was a nice buffet with enough variety and flavor to satisfy all who attended. The toasts actually made sense for a change and were pleasant to the ear, leading into a video collage of the wedded couple which was well done also. The rest of the night went as you might guess. Catching up with relatives on the state of the families, gathering the younger children in one area to play and wear them down a bit, looking for exits and entrances from various conversations, culminating in hearing the more lubricated of the attendees open up about life's issues in ways quite unexpected. The one low point of the evening for me was after multiple disappearances to the bar to watch my beloved Minnesota Wild, alas, they fell in defeat for the final time of the season to the Colorado Avalanche. I returned to the arms of my wife to dance a slow dance and recount to her the highlights of the game as I had after each period of the game. She consoled me and we moved on to bid adieu to family and acquaintances as the midnight hour became one o'clock ante meridiem.
Sunday morning included activities of a rather nice breakfast considering it was a motel lobby, loading cars and recounting with others the shape they were in and how they came to be in such a state. Some of it was humorous, at least to me being that I was not in said condition. My wife and I then headed back up to the farm for another feeding and the gift opening which lasted into the mid afternoon. This day however was bright sunshine with more moderate temperatures which climbed from the mid forties in the morning to the mid seventies by day's end. Upon arrival to the farm we were greeted by the groom's father and had a very pleasant conversation. As we stood in the warming sun overlooking pastures of cows and sheep, we discussed his farming operation as well as the state and business of farming in general. It was a light, educating discussion which I enjoyed with the friendly, easy going gentleman. The type of conversation one would have with another person who knows there are things in life that are serious and matter and yet does not take himself too seriously. A man easy to talk to, easier still to listen to, living in that balance of neither thinking higher nor lower of himself than he ought.
The festivities concluded and the time for departure had arrived. It was a pleasant drive home with a feeling that spring had finally sprung and summer was ready to start moving in. In the sunlight, buds were now visible on the trees and grasses were beginning to green up from the light showers of the past few days. My daughter and her husband dropped by our house and joined us in a game, dinner and a movie. When the kids went home, my wife and I retired for the evening, having witnessed first hand the cycle of life and the blessings that accompany us along the journey.
So it was a weekend of yeses. Yes we were responsible in sharing in the lives of our families. Yes, there was a little exercise, both physically and of the will. There were a few time frames, though none harsh. There was much real,
lasting benefit to me personally in the love witnessed and shared. While no monetary profitability was enjoyed, the profitability in these relationships will far outlast the time spent. Yes, even epiphany. Yes, my spirituality was confirmed in both the truth and deceptions I witnessed throughout the proceedings. And there were awe inspiring sights and sounds from the simple tear of a father, to the bride's nervous energy released through breathing or giggles, her bashfulness and her innocence, to the sounds of the little children. All I had to do was look and listen and experience the living out of joy.
